Yesterday hasn't been a wonderful day for me in fact was one of my yukky day!! However, i am not going to nag here as i used to do!! Not worth my effort as many comforted me. BA trained me to look at the positive side instead of dwelling in negative thoughts. I felt that i disappointed him yesterday. I cannot achieved what was required of me. I suppose if he read this sentence, perhaps he would say; " is not me you disappointed, is Him" Quite good at mind reading!! =))
Put that aside, i managed to pray before i entered my coma.
Today was rather creepy. I was asking for directions from God and guess what. The exact same phrase popped out again. The same phrase i had difficulties in comprehending a few weeks and maybe months back. The phrase was spooky!! It crept me when i first read!!
It goes "... God has determined to destroy you..." I was thinking real hard!! Why?? Why destroy me?? I understand the phrase after i asked the second phrase. I guess i am physically with him but not spiritually. These are " invitation" for repentance and of course, go back to Him.
I got total freaked out and contact KH for help. We looked into the phrase that God gave him. From what i have learnt, the phrases he gave were normally gentle but as you continue down, read more and more, harsh words will pop out and give you fright and fear for Lord.
KH's was nicely written but as we read down, i began to giggle and laugh like never before. His phrase was very harsh, speaking that he was not physically and spiritually with Him. =PP
REPENT!! There it goes!! =PP
We then prayed for a solution to our situation. KH's was confusing, i don't know what He wants us to do, we interpreted that He wants to be with KH, to support him. Mine was from Song of Songs. About lover and lillies. KH laughed and reprimanded me to go back to the Lord while my lover is browsing the lillies. =@@
I suppose Lord wants me to have faith in the things i pray and have trust in Him which i failed to have. With Lord i think that i can do it. Like what BA said, when you feel tired or you feel that you cannot depend on your own strength, lift it up!!! =)))
Had my fasting session today but today i am a vegetarian. In the morning i was considering of making it today since i cannot feully control my meals. However, i decided to give it a try because God encouraged me so on and so forth. Surprise came for lunch!!! Had vegetarian food my aunt bought. Doesn't he works like this?? Fast and Good!! =PP
Lord,
i will return to you
I will try!!
Please lead me the way
Lord,
I will have patience, faith and trust in you=))
speechless~
