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The cycle comes and go and soon, sunday is here.. It is not that i am happy but i am really very bored. These days i am somehow stucked with band practices and i don't even have the time for myself. Movies; shoppings.. NO!! Not at all. I am really feeling that i am leading a boring life. Daddy is back yesterday and we didn't talk much. Maybe lack of understanding or something but situation can be improve.

Now, band stuff. Clarinetists are working quite hard these days. Really impressed with them. Rehearsal 2 ran quite well except the fact that we did squeek alot. Wonder who is that but that doesn't really matters. Maybe we should clap for their hardwork. *clap*

Next, I am having this gulit feeling these days. Just feel that i did hurt someone. Sometimes i want to be harsh in order to get things into place but, i just can't bring myself to it. I feel that i had messed up a person's life. What had i done. I feel like slapping myself to wake myself up; or maybe scold myself a slut. To me, i am worse off than a slut. I don't deserve what i have. Although i said "love yourself before others do", I can't bring myself to love myself anymore. I am not a good girl. No, not at all..



You love me; love me not